My Reaction to Pregnancy

Being a young mother, I often have older people ask me if I planned my children. I also have younger women (usually pregnant) ask me if I cried when I found out, because that's what they did. While the answer is complicated, it's also very simple. I was overjoyed and terrified at finding out about each. So here are my thoughts about my pregnancies so far. :) (this originally started as a response to a post in my local mom group. Since it's the best explanation I've given to the question, I figured I'd hang on to it ;) )  

At 16, I cried when I found out about my first pregnancy. I was trying to figure out how to handle the next step with my boyfriend, who was becoming increasingly controlling and abusive. I worried she would suffer. I worried I wouldn't be a good mother, despite my desire to be one. But she came and became my inspiration. She reminds me everyday that I have a purpose. 

At 19, I cried when I found out about my second pregnancy. I knew my ex husband (still my husband at the time) was leaving us. I had no job, no support, I had nothing. I was terrified about what would happen to the three of us. I worried my oldest would be left out while I had to care for a newborn. I worried I would damage them as a single mom. But she came and became my "saving Grace" (hence her name :) ). She reminds me everyday that there are people who are there to help me, no matter how small. 

At 22, I cried when I found out about my third pregnancy. I had a good job that I loved, was engaged to soul mate, my girls were happy, and we were comfortable with our life (I wasn't even sure I wanted more kids because of the emotional scars left by my ex). I worried about work and finances. I worried I would never have time for loving and supporting three children. But she came and has become my passion. She reminds me everyday that passion is what feeds us, and I, personally, am lost it. 

None of my children were planned, had good timing, or the "right" circumstances. But they were exactly what I needed, I just didn't have a clue. 

Three Things You Can Give Your Kids for Free

My second daughter had her 3rd birthday on Tuesday. This morning I'm still in bed with my three girls. They're happily sleeping away, and I'm feeling a little bit sad. Life is such a fleeting thing, especially the childhood years. Having been a single mom for a while, I feel like I missed out on a lot of time and memories with my precious older girls. I can't get it back, so I try to make the most of the time we have now. I don't want to miss anything else! 

So lying in bed this morning, I've been thinking about gifts and things I can give my daughter for her birthday, and every day. I want her childhood to embrace her as an individual, encourage her in her dreams, and empower her for her future. What can I give my daughter that does all those things? After a few minutes of pondering this, I've decided it isn't something that's going to break the bank! In fact, the most important and meaningful things I can give her, and my other girls, and free. Here are a few things I can give my girls that cost nothing, but will last a lifetime: 

1. Connection. Children want, and need, connection. They need to know that when you're there, you're really there. Today's society had become so quickly and easily connected via phones, email, and social media. All it takes is a quick click and the world is at our fingertips. But thanks to this, we've lost the true beauty of sitting down and really connecting with people. Do you remember the last time you put down the phone and turned off the TV to have dinner with your family? Or played with your kid in the bedroom floor? Even if you don't, I'm sure your child does. Kids need connection, and it doesn't take much to make a good one. 

2. Caring. Going off that connection thing, kids need to know you care. Not only that you care about their physical health and well-being, but about their abilities and interests too. How many times have you heard your child say "Mommy, watch this! Look at me!"? If your children are anything like mine, it's probably about 3,769 times a day. Each. Understandably, no one can watch Every. Single. Thing. But at the same time, it's vital that your children know you do care that they can skip. Or jump really high. Draw a cool picture. Sing a song they made up for you. Whatever it is that turns your kid on, they just want to know you care. 

3. Compassion. This one is a biggie. I'm sure we all want our kids to grow up and be compassionate people. The world lacks in this area as a whole, and I'd love to see my children break that trend. To help teach this trait, I strive to show my girls examples of compassionate acts to others. Not only ones that I do, but ones we see others around us do as well. I encourage them to be compassionate to others. I bet most parents do! But sometimes I think we miss the boat, and in a big way. We often forget to show the same compassion to our kids that we ask them to show to others. I know I have. So slow down and make a conscious effort to show your children compassion. They need to experience it firsthand in order to pass it on to others. 

We're having a family outing this Saturday to celebrate her birthday, and she'll have a party for her family and friends to come celebrate, too. She may not be getting a lot of expensive presents, but in my opinion, she's getting something a lot better. It's definitely going to last her a lot longer than any toy could. 

An Introduction

Before I delve into blogging about my eclectic passions and interests, I thought I'd introduce myself, so here you go.

I love life. I was going to list things I love, but I seriously love everything. Except spiders. I'm married to the most amazing man in the world. We have three precious girls, aged from 3 months to almost 6 years old. I'm a SAHM, but also a licensed RN. My dream job (outside the home) is to be a birth worker. Midwifery is my ultimate goal. 

I've been married, divorced, and remarried. I was a teen mom and a single mom. I've had a hospital birth and free birthed two babies (one water and one "land"). I've been a SAHM and also worked 60hrs a week to provide for myself and my girls. I've been abused, controlled, and hated. I've been protected, empowered, and loved. 

I love God, my family, and helping others find their passions like I've found mine. I'm not writing to offend anyone, but I'm also not writing to please anyone. This is simply my outlet for my thoughts, which may be laced with sarcasm and a bit of cynicism. I always enjoy a good discussion and I love learning new things and others' points of view. 

This may never be read by anyone but me, but if it is, I hope you enjoy what you find!